Start with Empathy
I was recently asked what being a lifelong learner meant to me. It didn’t take me long to form an answer. As I began answering the question, I started with some of the key points we talk about at when we talk about learning- reading, personal and professional development, a desire for improvement, seeking educational opportunities, podcasts- but it soon evolved into something more from my perspective.
As I spoke, I found a new thread developing in my mind. How can we be lifelong learners unless we show up with empathy? Empathy is where so much growth begins. It is the bud that develops into a full bloom. When we show up with empathy we grow. It felt very simple and yet powerfully true.
Yes, there are growth opportunities that arise outside of this realm but being part of the human experience, we need and crave and seek human connection. Even those who shy away from it, I’ve found, do so to protect themselves following some kind of trauma or pain. As humans we seek connection. We seek out community because it fulfills a need in us.
When we lead with empathy, we open ourselves up to so much potential growth. With empathy comes curiosity. Empathy and curiosity replace judgement and fixed mindsets. When we show up with empathy, we experience the stories of others differently. we want to know more, we feel connected to the people sharing with us. We can learn from their perspectives, their experiences, their culture, their life as they have experienced it.
This knowledge and understanding is impactful and offers us the opportunity to pause, to reflect, to grow, and to learn from others. We do not have to fully experience their lives, we do not have to sit and judge their decisions, we simply need to understand and appreciate the experience and the perspective they share.
As I reflect on my life, I recognize that I’ve had many opportunities to grow and learn from both traditional spaces such as classrooms, books, podcasts, coaches and mentors, but some of the greatest and most eye opening growth in my life has come during those moments of connection with others, when I learn about their story, when I show up with empathy and curiosity. From work, to internships, to volunteering in the community, I’ve met so many individuals who keep showing up every day despite the hardships they have endured and experienced. These stories, these people inspire me to keep showing up and to keep growing.
As I’ve sat with people I’ve learned of their dreams, I’ve learned of their hardships, I’ve learned the reasons they started down a path that led to addiction and homelessness. I’ve learned about their first love, I’ve learned about their sacrifices, I’ve learned about moments they are so proud of. I also was afforded a glimpse into the people they had hoped to be. I was able to appreciate their strength, their kindness, their broken pieces, and I was able to appreciate who they were and the experiences they have had.
I’ve listened to stories of assault, of hopelessness, or the strength of the human spirit and body to live through horrendous circumstances. I’ve learned about fears that started when a country went to war, and they lost loved ones in the fighting and how that created fears that they live with each day, but they still traveled across oceans to new places and started new lives.
I’ve gained an appreciation for the lives of others, and I’ve found beauty and dignity and hope in those who society often overlooks. I’ve learned more from a person without more than an 8th grade education about showing up with love for others than I have in classrooms and lectures with professors who had a doctorate degree.
In a society and world where things can feel so out of balance, and so difficult, where people can seem so unkind and uncaring, it’s important to show up with empathy. Empathy is where change begins. That change begins inside of us and then grows. In that growth we change others; sometimes through something as simple as a smile or a kind word, but that change spreads and touches others.
Today my challenge to you is to stop when you find yourself judging someone’s perspective or story and finding holes in the way they made a decision or the choices that have led them to this point and instead look deeper. Ask questions, remember that they are somebody. They deserve dignity, empathy, and kindess. In a world where we are so very connected and yet so disconnected, and in a world that can seem so unkind, I ask you to open yourself to connection, to empathy, and to curiosity and then take time to consider what you can share with the world.
